im back...

okay so ive gone to liking several guys.to one.to not one.and now i currently like 2.
one has a mohawk and he's in 11th grade and the other one is a freshman...
the mohawk thinks i like him, and i do but just a little bit, and the freshman well...he's giving me mix signals :[

anyways i past the 1st nine weeks of school

98
96
88
84

thank god...

my gpa has to be a 3.8 if i wanna get into emory


like seriously!


um lets see


my friend[this freshman] has totally changed since the guys in our class started giving her attention


idk...

but i still luhher i guess


she just qotta keep her hands to herself


l0l

i wanna be free:]

i wanna be free...

i wanna go out there into the world with just me.

i dont wanna go where my parents want me to go.

i dont wanna do whatever i wanna do for me and my future.

but how can i do that when all i want is to make them happy.

to make them proud of me.

i cant stand people being mad at me.

i try to be as nice as possible but that's not working is it.

i wanna please everyone but i cant.

i just wanna feel free.

i just wanna do something that i can enjoy for the rest of my life.

not by forcing myself to try to enjoy it.

can you ever feel free.

can you ever break away from your family.

knowing that it would break their heart.

i feel like am stored away in a closet.

and inside theres a girl ready to open that door and scream AM FREE.

i wanna do things thats to benifit me!

not my parents!

not my friends!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna feel secure but at the same time i just wanna take some risks.

theres somethings you'll never know about me

but all i want you to know for right now is

I WANNA BE FREE:]

its me again[3 month update]

haha...

so i kind of forgot 'bout this website but i finally remembered it today so let me give yall the quick update...

ive realized im always gonna like brandon

summer was boring

i switched school and at first i didnt like its like the 2nd week now and im in love with it

should i feel like an awful friend cause i havent missed my best friends well idk...i think we've fallen apart because they havent called me or nothing...i mean im like 20 freakinq minutes away but anyways...

i feel so much more pretty in this school,all the boys be checking me out and playing around with mehhhh:]

but ya this lil boy[freshman] if i didnt tell yall my b-day is in september 14 which is when im turning 15 and by the way im a sophmore...ill probably have a pic up soon but idk yet but back to the story he likes me and he's so weird like literally he practically barks every word he's saying and stuff but ya i dont like him and im seriously trying not to be mean but at the same time let him know that i dont like him[gawd]

ill tell yall what happens when i know what im gonna say or something...

now to the cute boy part...there's like 2 that i think that are really really cute that are in my 1st period class and one of them my friend likes and i didnt like at first but now i can see him looking at me and he's majorly cut then the other one has dreads and wayyyy cute. 4th period is my other major cutie class[lOl] there's like 3 in there and ill make sure to tell yall the update about them...

well thats all the writing i have left in me for today ill try to blog more:]

2 month update

well so here's what's happened brandon[my crush] started going out with one of my friends, but they're broken up now but guess what i think im starting to like him again even though i like this dude josh. idk. like it feels so right with him like i can be myself and he makes me laugh. um my bestfriend got a new boyfriend and they're like totally in love which kind of makes me jealous but its okay...when the time comes for me i'll hopefully be ready. im now addicted to makeup lol, seriously even though im black :O but ya i have the bestest friends who let me use makeup. i think ima stop because i heard you get wrinkles quicker. ya i was appalled and i also find out that um... we black people have good skin? lol
there's like 9 days left of the school year then summer[yay]
ima try to get a job because i wanna be looking all cute/fly next year

well i guess thats all ttyl

ummm

well im really bored.idk.

lets see i still like him and he kinda asked me out but i stupedly said no.

ya i know im super lame but my mom had issues with him and i think im afraid of commitments.

so yaaa.

i like this new guy now and hes so adorably short but he gotta six pack. wow. lol. im just obsessed with muscled guy.

this girl wanna fight me and well if she touch me one more time ima fucking kick her ass!!!!!

a month and a day update

well i didnt exactly lost him. i think he still kinda likes me but who cares. we barely see each other no more and well he's a bit too flirty for my taste. i wanted to write a long time ago but i dint have the time so lets see.

its a new year,new semester, ive made some new friends,ive seen some new guys and i might like some new guys.

ive changed in a lot of ways but im still the real me. i guess.

well i dont feel like writing so ima go now