its over

i never had him but i thought i did...he was my first love and right now my eyes are all watered up but i can't cry, and i won't cry. but i feel really sad and lonely and to prove it i'm listening to i remember by keyshia cole. It really sucks and it's really hard to pretend not to notice him messing with that other girln smiling when i don't want to, giving that fake laugh. It's not fair i thought he'd be my first boyfriend, my first kiss, but i guess i held out too much. i dont know what i did wrong. but thank god next semester i dont got NO classes with him and to think i was gonna try to switch my classes so i can have classes with him:[

it's not fair though after all those months of flirting and him calling babe,and telling me he loves me...he's just gonna move on to that girl and i really thought he wouldnt be one of those players, and i hoped it EVERYDAY. it fucking sucks and he's gonna flirt with her RIGHT in front of me, and i really try not to look his way.

omg! i cant write anymore or im gonna start crying for real:[

10 day update

well it's me again hahaha
itz bein 10 days...i wish i could go 10 days without myspace but i cant im a total myspace freak:]
ya but let's see what's happen in the last 10 day................
i like 3 cousins. yup yup yup! isn't that weird though, the 3 guys you like are cousins...it's like im obsessed with his family[nothing stalker though] but i think i like one of them better I JUST DONT KNOW. it's like one of them is cute, one is sexy and the other one is in between but i really don't know.

ima make this the section about what makes me mad
ta-da-ta-ta-dahhhhYOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME MAD!!!!!!

#1.people telling me i act white and i mean it's not my fault im not trying to act all ghetto like some of them. its just me, i can't help it. it's like okay i act white but if i tried to act all ghetto and black they'd be like "she's such a poser" i think thats just fucked up. it's like well if you don't like the way i act i aiight no one's forcing you to talk to me,and im not even ACTING!!!

#2. i hate when guys flirt with other girls right in front of you while they were just calling you babe and everything then there just gonna turn around and yell to anoter gurl that he loves her. WHATDAHFUCK!!!!guys seriously get on my nerves sometimes[aargh!!!]

#3. moms always fucking tripping or parents. its like okay i heard you now SHUTDAHFUCKUP!!!!ALREADY. GAWD . i mean i love my mom and dad but sometimes they can be so aggravating and i mean don't they remember when it was like when they were kids. and they act like they were never KIDS. i know i can be a bitch or just hard headed sometimes and get aggravate really quickly but they don't understand the problem is NOT them and i just had a bad day or something. and i know they can't read minds or nothing but SERIOUSLY everything is NOT about them and it's not like i'm gonna go up to my mom and say "mom this boy is really been an asshole!'

well that's all for today
tata:]♥
p.s.i got a new fav. color ORANGE!!!! but pink is still my all time favorite&hearts'

you know what makes me mad!!!!!!

well you know how that show family guy had peter doing the whole "you know what grinds my gears" or something like that...well i've decided to do a "you know what makes me mad" not that no one's going to read it but you know what, im actually hoping people would read my blogs even though i say [or write] that i don't want them too and that's weird isn't it coz we say something and we actually try to make ourselves believe it but in our head we still know it's not true. wow well now that's out of my mind,let's begin my "you know what makes me mad" section

okay so you know what makes me mad, guys calling you ugly or whatever then when no one's around they start flirting and touching on you and shit...that shit get on my nerves coz it's like wow...why you even touching me, but then i get on my nerves when i actually like that their even paying attention to me coz then i think their gonna be like "o she's not bad" but they just go back to their old stinking self and the same thing happens over and over again, so now you get mad at yourself and the dude, but the only one you should get mad at is yourself!!!

then theres another thing that gets me mad is when guys won't admit to their friends they like you and then when yall are alone...he's all "you're my baby right" and touching you, but you like him so much you just can't tell him to stop. then when someones like o yall make such a cute couple and he changes the subject but when yall are alone that's all he wants to talk about like how yall are so perfect for each other

well i gottta get off dah computer now so byezzzz
ill try 2 write 2morow or something:]

crush or not

well i'm back kind of n' i know i havent been blogging for a while but there's lik no privacy n' plus school is totally weighin me down [aaargh!!!!]

so anyways im totally happy today and why? well coz i spent like mii whole 6th period talking to my crush...he's not really my crush no more coz he knows i like him and i kinda know he likes me and wer not going out yet and why? i dont really know but omg his hair smellls reeeely reeeely good, he' smile is very very very sexy and he's abs are fantaboulusly sexxxyyyy!!!

well i think that's alll..........ill update later or something